Not that anybody asks me about these things anyway.

Last year, inspired by Kyle Turner doing the exact same idea before me because I have never had a single original thought in my life, I put together my own little fantasy thing for how I personally would have laid out the year’s Oscar categories.  Well, that was a fun little timewaster, and I am probably still recovering from the Sleigh Bells gig I went to on Tuesday, so in preparation for this Sunday’s Academy Awards, let’s do the exact same thing again!  As with last year, I’m just giving my nominee lists, not who I’d like to win.  You want explanations for all this stuff?  I wrote a very extensive Best Of series at the end of December/beginning of January that should fill you in, and I haven’t exactly been silent about this year’s Awards Season films, both in sporadic articles on the site and on my Twitter.  This isn’t anything substantial, it’s just a fun little hyper-speculation exercise!

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Best Picture

10 Cloverfield Lane

Arrival

Eye in the Sky

Hidden Figures

Kubo and the Two Strings

Moonlight

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

The Edge of Seventeen

Weiner

Zootopia

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Best Director

Barry Jenkins	Moonlight
Ben Wheatley	High-Rise
Dan Trachtenberg	10 Cloverfield Lane
Denis Villeneuve	Arrival
Kelly Fremon Craig	The Edge of Seventeen

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Best Actor

Andrew Garfield	Sebastião Rodrigues	Silence
Andy Samberg	Conner4Real	Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
Art Parkinson	Kubo	Kubo and the Two Strings
Michael Keaton	Ray Kroc	The Founder
Trevante Rhodes	Adult Chiron	Moonlight

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Best Actress

Amy Adams	Dr. Louise Banks	Arrival
Hailee Steinfeld	Nadine Franklin	The Edge of Seventeen
Natalie Portman	Jackie Kennedy	Jackie
Rebecca Hall	Christine Chubbuck	Christine
Taraji P. Henson	Katherine Goble Johnson	Hidden Figures

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Best Supporting Actor

Alden Ehrenreich	Hobie Doyle	Hail, Caesar!
Daniel Radcliffe	Manny	Swiss Army Man
Jason Bateman	Nick Wilde	Zootopia
John Goodman	Howard	10 Cloverfield Lane
Shia LaBeouf	Jake	American Honey

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Best Supporting Actress

Charlize Theron	Monkey	Kubo and the Two Strings
Janelle Monáe	Mary Jackson	Hidden Figures
Kate McKinnon	Jillian Holtzmann	Ghostbusters
Lily Gladstone	The Rancher	Certain Women
Naomie Harris	Paula	Moonlight

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Best Original Screenplay

Moonlight	Tarrell Alvin McCraney (story, based on his unproduced play), Barry Jenkins (screenplay)
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping	Andy Samberg & Akiva Schaffer & Jorma Taccone
The Edge of Seventeen	Kelly Fremon Craig
The Nice Guys	Shane Black & Anthony Bagarozzi
Zootopia	Byron Howard & Rich Moore and Jared Bush & Phil Johnston and Jim Reardon and Josie Trinidad and Jennifer Lee (story), Jared Bush & Phil Johnston (screenplay)

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Best Adapted Screenplay

10 Cloverfield Lane	Josh Campbell & Matt Stuecken (story), Josh Campbell & Matt Stuecken and Damien Chazelle (screenplay)
Arrival	Eric Heisserer
Hidden Figures	Theodore Melfi & Allison Schroeder
High-Rise	Amy Jump
The Purge: Election Year	James DeMonaco

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Best Animated Film

Kubo and the Two Strings

My Life as a Courgette

Sausage Party

The Little Prince

Zootopia

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Best Cinematography

Arrival	Brandon Young
High-Rise	Laurie Rose
Kubo and the Two Strings	Frank Passingham
Silence	Rodrigo Prieto
The Handmaiden	Chung Chung-hoon

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Best Original Score

Arrival	Jóhann Jóhannsson
High-Rise	Clint Mansell
Jackie	Mica Levi
Moonlight	Nicholas Britell
The VVitch	Mark Koren

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Best Original Song

Can’t Stop the Feeling	Justin Timberlake (performer); Justin Timberlake, Max Martin, Karl Johan Schuster (writers)	Trolls
Freedom	Beyoncé Knowles, Kendrick Lamar (performers); Jonathan Coffer, Beyoncé Knowles, Carla Williams, Dean McIntosh, Kendrick Duckworth, Frank Tirado, Alan Lomax, John Lomax Sr. (writers)	Lemonade
How Far I’ll Go	Auli’I Cravalho (performer); Lin-Manuel Miranda (writer)	Moana
I’m So Humble	Andy Samberg, Adam Levine (performers); Andy Samberg, Akvia Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, Can Canatan, Al Hoffman, John Klenner (writers)	Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
The Riddle of the Model	Sing Street (performers); John Carney, Gary Clark (writers)	Sing Street

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Best Documentary

13th

Chasing Asylum

Justin Timberlake + The Tennessee Kids

Kate Plays Christine

Weiner

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Best Editing

Arrival	Joe Walker
Elle	Stéphane Fontaine
Moonlight	Joi Sanders and Joi McMillon
Nocturama	Fabrice Rouaud
Weiner	Eli B. Despres

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Best Foreign Language Film

Elle

My Life as a Courgette

Nocturama

The Handmaiden

The Stopover

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What would your fantasy awards lists look like?  Let me know in the comments!

Callie Petch got their B machines in the drawer.