The Lost City houses box office riches, RRR makes $$$, there was a very Finite Storm, everyone is Everything Everywhere All at Once, and Other Box Office News.
Note: this article originally ran on Set the Tape (link).
Here’s a fun fact for y’all, Sandra Bullock has not starred in a theatrically-released film since Ocean’s 8 in 2018. Really. Before that, the last time she appeared in a wide-release movie was Our Brand is Crisis in October 2015. The last time she appeared in a live-action wide-release movie other than Ocean’s 8 that people actually gave a shit about was Gravity in October 2013. Very long-time Box Office Report readers across the many sites which have played host to my shenanigans over the years, like the parasite that this feature is, may recall that those two examples of movies people gave a shit about did VERY WELL for themselves. But still, five years is a long time to be away from the game, even if you’re cashing fat Netflix cheques in the meanwhile and with two of those years not counting cos of the whole plague thing. Maybe her big comeback, a throwback adventure rom-com starring her and fellow cinema sabbatical-taker (excluding Dog) Channing Tatum, just wouldn’t cut the mustard anymore with audiences? Maybe they’d moved on?
Like heck had they. Instead, Bullock and the audience’s eyes met across the airport lobby and proceeded to rush back into each other’s arms as Train triumphantly rang out over the diegetic soundtrack, and this metaphor has gotten away from me. The point is, The Lost City is your new box office #1 with a very healthy $31 million and, yes, that is very healthy for a new IP with two hiatus-movie stars aimed at women releasing during the still-not-over plague days, don’t try to claim otherwise. If I were Paramount, I’d be wheeling dump trucks worth of money up to Bullock’s house in an effort to make her appear in more films, ASAP; she’s clearly still got the special sauce that brings all the boys to the yard and this metaphor has also gotten away from me. Similarly bringing the boys to the yard is Bollywood which stays winning in 2022 with RRR – it stands for Rise, Roar, Revolt – which posted an opening certainly worthy of making a song and dance about; $9.5 million from 1,200 theatres and a commanding third place.
Elsewhere, the Michelle Yeoh-ssaince continues to go from strength-to-strength. Buoyed by universally stellar reviews, multi-verses being so hot right now, and hopefully a long overdue collective realisation that Michelle Yeoh is fucking awesome and should be duly revered, A24 and Daniels’ sci-fi-action-comedy-drama-horror-hybrid Everything Everywhere All at Once kicked off its limited release stint in ecstatic fashion with $509,659 from 10 theatres. The resultant PTA of $50,965, for those who need a little aid with their maths, is the best of any film since Spider-Man: No Way Home, since we have to yard-stick everything against No Way Home now. Bodes very well for its Wide release in two weeks, as well as it’s UK release on *checks notes* STRAIGHT-TO-SKY-CINEMA?! BULLSHIT! Elsewhere in the Limited Release mines, Eva Husson’s pretentious softcore snoozefest dressing itself up as a respectable post-WWI romance drama Mothering Sunday crossed overseas to near-indifference, pulling out just $10,706 from 5 screens; a PTA of $2,141.
Not a single one of these new releases came out in the UK this weekend, weirdly enough. Let’s Full List, anyway.
US Box Office Results: Friday 25th March 2022 – Sunday 27th March 2022
1] The Lost City
$31,000,000 / NEW
Hope this is good, since Stranger Than Fiction crossed with Romancing the Stone sounds so up my street it’s already attempting to gentrify the surrounding neighbourhoods, but I gotta wait another three weeks to find out – plus however much longer it takes for me to work it into the non-stop gig parade I have from mid-April. In the meantime, I’m gonna use this platform to ask why the frak I haven’t heard a sniff about an Ocean’s 8 sequel. It was a real big success, the second-best performing entry domestically, and comfortably the cheapest to make of the series! That usually makes a sequel green-light a no-brainer! Fuck gives, Warner Bros.? Gimme more lady heist movies!
2] The Batman
$20,500,000 / $331,951,000
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please do not do The Joker again in the next Batman movie. Almost literally anyone else as the antagonist, seriously. Batman has the single best rogue’s gallery in the business, stop limiting things to Joker and, specifically, a deadly serious nihilistic Joker that is beyond played out by now. And if pure creative reasons aren’t gonna sway you, I’ll instead offer you the petty asshole reason that I’d just rather have my Barry Keoghan exposure limited as much as possible. Something about him gives me bad juju.
3] RRR: Rise Roar Revolt
$9,500,000 / NEW
According to The Numbers, that’s about to be the second-biggest opening weekend for any Bollywood movie in the US to date, behind only 2017’s Baahubali 2: The Conclusion with $10.4 million. Like I keep saying, there’s a real market for Indian cinema in the US right now. I hope this keeps up and also that the sophomore weekends of such releases collapse a little less often than they do.
$5,000,458 / $133,551,000
Death, taxes, Lee Thacker writing up a They Might Be Giants album anniversary. This time, that’s the Johns’ fourth album, Apollo 18, which turned 30 on Thursday.
5] Jujutsu Kaisen 0: The Movie
$4,579,727 / $27,723,448
Like with the Demon Slayer movie from last year, I went into Jujutsu Kaisen 0 without having any prior experience with or knowledge of the anime/manga it was based on. Unlike with the Demon Slayer movie from last year, I came out of Jujutsu Kaisen 0 not particularly fussed about trying the source material to see what I’d missed.
$2,229,531 / $8,298,028
Finally! A movie which looks to take full advantage of Rory Kinnear’s innate skeeviness! That’s why we pay Alex Garland the auteur bucks!
$2,108,012 / $57,874,950
Memo to all directors: please don’t throw your VFX artists under the bus, for fuck’s sake. Cannot believe I have to say that.
8] Spider-Man: No Way Home
$2,000,000 / $800,588,139
There, broke $800 million domestic. Congratulations. Go away now. *sees Morbius rising over the ridge in response* No, wait, actually come back and stay forever please!
9] Sing 2
$1,280,000 / $160,256,880
Eamon Hennedy’s Music in the Movies series has reached one of my personal favourite films of the 2010s, Damien Chazelle’s phenomenal Whiplash. He does it justice, go read!
10] Infinite Storm
$751,296 / NEW
And the curse of Bleecker Street putting out decent mid-budget adult dramas featuring mid-level movie stars (Naomi Watts in this case) with basically no promotion to drown unloved and unheralded continues unabated. Yep, the Box Office is back to normal, alright!
Dropped out: Death on the Nile, The Outfit, The Kashmir Files
Callie Petch can’t teach a man how to wear his pants.